Thank you...thank you...thank you!

I just wanted to thank everyone SO VERY MUCH for their heartfelt support on the last post about Brady. You really have NO IDEA how much support from people I know (friends I haven't seen in a long, long time-I MISS YOU GIRLS-Sweet Pea Chef, Deep in the Heart, Slacker Mama, Marathon Mom, Clemson Girl...the list goes on) and from those I don't know. WOW! I am humbled and honestly touched. I had a little rough patch on Sunday (and I know I will) and went back and re-read the comments and they lifted my spirits so much. I look at that sweet little boy and I KNOW he is going to be OK! Anyway, just wanted to say thanks again for the support from the blogging world....who knew how special it could be?

I've put my heart back in my chest....and the pity party if officially over!

*WARNING: This is not my usual happy-go-lucky post, but as true and raw as I can be right now. This post is about my sweet little boy Brady and the latest with him.* I promise to be happy-go-lucky as soon as possible*

I was hesitant about posting about this at first because of how vulnerable it would make me, but this blog was started for myself and my family. One day Brady will read this and I want him to know exactly how much his mommy and daddy are rooting and fighting for him.

For the last 3 days, I've been in a fog. We had Brady's PT evaluation on Wednesday and the news didn't seem all that great, but at the same time I knew in my heart of hearts that it wasn't going to be-he has hypertonia in his legs. What does this mean? It means that even at resting his muscles are contracted and stretched which makes it hard for him to walk (or which is why he is not walking). The PT informed me, even though I already knew, that he would not be walking anytime soon. In fact, this could be a very difficult road for Brady. When she left, I had a good, long cry in the bathroom and felt very, very sad for Brady. Images of Brady riding a bike, playing soccer, running with his brothers flashed in my head. As a parent we have visions for our children...we don't have visions of them with a disability. And although we don't know for sure if this is a "disability", it is what it is, he has a gross motor delay. So I spent the next several days questioning God, "Why Brady?", "Why me?", "How can another BAD thing be happening to us again?"

And today after a good cry in the shower, it hit me-the lights came on. God doesn't give this Steel Magnolia anything she can't handle. I guess He thinks I can handle more than the average person....losing my sister, dealing with infertility and now...? My job is to be Brady's mother, his cheerleader, his best advocate-it's not to be SAD for him and to PITY him. He doesn't need that-he needs someone who believes he can do anything and I know that he can and will walk one day. Besides, I have two other beautiful children that need me as well. We have an amazing and wonderful life and I it will continue to be just that.

Maybe I became a special education teacher for this exact moment. I know the right questions to ask and the right providers to talk to-just as I "knew" I would encounter infertility, I dealt with it, followed the advice of doctors and became my own best advocate and because of that I have these 3 wonderful boys in my life.

I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, my son, or the rest of my family. We are going to be OK, Brady is going to be fine because he has a family that believes in him and knows that he will do anything that he sets his mind to. He doesn't need a mother that is going to be sad for him, wishing he was this way or that way. He has a mother that is going to root and cheer for him like any mother would do for their child. He is still the same Brady he was yesterday, happy as a clam and very smart too. If I could only give you a recording of that sweet little voice of his. His and Jack's language is exploding everyday-new words here and there and it always makes me smile to hear them.

There may be those who don't think I should have posted all of this, but I'm doing so because there may be someone out there just like me, having their own pity party, and may need that extra boost of assurance that their child is going to be fine. My job is to be Brady, Jack, and Harrison's SUPER MOM and that, my friends, is what I am.

Are they twins??

This is a question I get just about everyday when I'm out. Seriously, they are! "But one's bigger than the other". I always respond, "They are not identical, they're fraternal." Soooo, lately I've started dressing them the same, or at least in coordinating outfits. #1 because it's easier and #2 so that people may not state the obvious all the time. Also, for some reason because Jack is smaller, people often assume he is a girl. He looks nothing like a girl, but a lot of people assume the boy/girl twin thing. Anyway, here are some pictures from the other day. The boys were being silly and they were dressed the same...so I thought I'd share.

A rainy day baking project...

Harrison has been in VBS all this week and today was supposed to be a family picnic over at Splash Island. Because of all of the rain we've been having, it was cancelled. I quickly decided since it was raining that we would have a baking activity to keep all parties interested while the twins were napping. For some reason, I enjoy baking when it's raining outside. To me, they seem to go hand-in-hand. Harrison LOVES to help me in the kitchen and we always have so much fun together. I decided since I had all the ingredients on hand that I would make pistachio biscotti. We are BIG fans of the pistachio in this house...so I was hoping it would turn out. Well, they did and all 4 of us devoured them during our tea-time. Tea-time, you ask? Are we in Britain? No, but I am trying desperately to teach my boys some table manners and I figured after naps/snack time was the best time to try. We all sit at the table and eat our snack together. Dinnertime can be so chaotic, so this has been fun to try out. Plus, it relaxes me a little before the "wild/crazy" time in our house, which is between 5:00 and 6:00 pm, before daddy gets home. I figure if it's good for the Brits, it's good for us...here are some pictures from our little baking/eating extravaganza.

A job that is "fun"...

Lately I've been thinking about starting a photography business with a good friend of mine...I get so excited thinking about it. I've been taking pictures of families and children about every weekend for the last 5 or so weeks. Right now I am not charging anything, as I see it important to build a portfolio. Taking pictures of other people's families has been SO MUCH FUN! I can't explain in words how it makes me feel to know what I have done for another family by capturing their children in a special way. And although I haven't been "paid" with cash, every family that I have taken has given me some special gift, which is really sweet.

My "job" before motherhood was teaching in special education. Although very rewarding, it was also very, very stressful. I taught children with severe autism for a couple of years and then moved on to teach children with learning disabilities and serve as Screening Chair for my school. High stress let me tell you! As I contemplate one day re-joining the workforce, I don't see myself going back to all of that stress, especially now that I am a parent. It just wouldn't allow me the flexibility I want to be with my children. Yes, I know we have the "summers off", but as every teacher knows, you truly never have any time off-as there are always lesson plans, themes, trainings, etc to attend to.

I really hope that my friend and I can get this photography business off the ground...if I can have a job that is as much fun as I have had taking pictures for these families....I would start tomorrow. Here are a few of some of the pictures I've taken. I'm only including the backs of the children for privacy.

As pretty as a picture...

This past Saturday we decided to throw caution to the wind (ha!), be spontaneous and drive the whole family over to Kiawah Island for the day. Turned out to be a wonderful family day. The drive took about an hour, but it was such a beautiful drive along Bohicket Rd, see for yourself...this is the view from the car.

The road was like this for about 10 miles or so and it was beautiful. When we got there, we decided to walk around Freshfields Village for a while. There were tons of cute shops and even an old fashioned soda fountain complete with formica tables and a bar with swivel stools. Harrison loved it. Dan and I shared a peanut butter and chocolate sundae with the twins and Harrison had his own ice cream of course. Afterwards we rode on over to the beach...the sand is very different from our beach...very white and fine. I liked it because it didn't get all over everything. We'll definitely be going back, maybe even for a vacation. Oh and honey, when we celebrate the big 10 next year, I wouldn't mind a night or two at The Sanctuary.

I love waking up and having no plans and then all of a sudden it being the best day ever...don't you love days like that?

The entrance to Freshfields Village, how cute is that?

Happy Birthday Dad, Grandpa!

Happy Birthday Dad aka Grandpa-we hope it's a good one!!! Harrison hopes you enjoyed your birthday song....

Love,

Dan, Lee, Harrison, Brady and Jack

My dad and Harrison (14 months)